BEING ALL IN
Fully committing in life takes courage. It puts you at risk for something. People who always have an escape route for their commitments are not very powerful in life. Therefore they have to start manipulating and controlling to compensate for their lack of integrity in life. They get results in spite of this not because of it. And of course, if you’re playing a game called “one part committed, and then one part looking for the way out” — you’ll start creating an environment conducive to that which is also very unworkable.
And when you start backing out without honor, people notice. People notice the childishness your behavior. There’s people three kinds of ways to participate in life:
1) Auditing
2) Doing the best I can
3) All In
People who audit are merely observing.
People who are doing the best they can know they are busy and up to a lot in life so they often have excuses of why they can’t do stuff but they’re VERY SINCERE that they are doing the best they can and they TRULY BELIEVE THEIR SINCERITY and they’re REALLY NICE ABOUT IT.
People who are all in get all the business and constraints of people who “do the best they can” but they don’t let that get in the way and figure out how to make it work.
If you’re up to big things in life being all in is the responsible position to play that game. Doing the best you can doesn’t cut it long term and people figure it out very quickly even if you think you’re good at hiding it and pretending you’re all in and just auditing won’t ever cut it.
Often we pretend and get smart with ourselves (literally we get manipulative with ourselves to justify the “alrightness” in our actions) of subtly backing off like we think others won’t notice. It’s slimy and truly disgusting behavior. If we just stop being useful to others both from a space of action and from a space of emotion then all of a sudden it’s okay. Yeah, not really.
I talk a lot about how in the sports world, all great athletes have a coach. Well all great athletes are all in and all great athletes just don’t quit in the middle of the game. Could you imagine if Tom Brady started noticing that some of his wide receivers just decided they would run slower and start allowing themselves to get covered more by the defense in the hopes that he would just stop throwing to them. That would be the dumbest fucking thing on the planet but that’s literally how some people operate in life and then what’s even more disgusting is they actually think they’re getting away with it.
And just like every responsible athlete knows, there comes a time where it’s time to retire. When your body is too worn, where you can’t perform the way you want to, and where you’ve been used up and you have given your all and now there’s nothing else left to give. You are complete. You end it cleanly. You leave responsibly. People may be sad in your leaving but they are not angry nor see you as untrustworthy. They still want to participate in life with you but instead of having you on the field maybe now you coach. Maybe you go into broadcasting. Maybe you start a company.
Throughout it all you still have your power.
